Yesterday we were hanging out at home when I told the kids I was going to have a shower. Jack and Sophia were playing so I thought it was a good time to go. Of course both wanted to come with me so all 3 of us have a shower. Fine, we are clean and warm and getting dry when I go to pick Jack up to take him to his room to get dressed. As I go to pick him up my large ungainly belly gets a massive pain underneath and I hunch over gasping and let go of one of Jack's arms. I am holding him just under one arm and so I try to compensate and lift him higher so I can get him on my hip but instead drop him even more so that now I am holding him by only his arm just between his elbow and wrist. I put him down, screaming and crying (him, not me) and take a moment to recover and then attempt to walk him to his room to get dressed. He is screaming and holding his arm, telling me I hurt it and asking me to kiss it better. I do this, multiple times, and proceed to dress him. This begins a series of screaming unlike most I have ever heard before. I immediately know something is wrong. This is not my Jack - he never cries for more than a moment over anything. He is holding his left arm in his right and refusing to move it. I make a flurry of phone calls and leave for urgent care, Sophia safe in my neighbors home and Dallin on alert at work. We have a few hours of waiting and tests in urgent care to find out that he has dislocated his elbow. Scratch that, I have dislocated his elbow! I am in tears for most of the afternoon watching my baby in such pain. It is heartbreaking and there is nothing I can do. He is so helpless and small - so dependent on Mommy. When the dr takes his arm to reset it I think he might burst a lung from the screaming. Then, magically, it is better and he is happy Jack again. No tears, no pain, nothing. I cannot even express the relief and happiness that it brought me, I can only imagine how good it felt to him! Happy as can be and with a sticker and a popsicle we leave to go home. He is running around, climbing things and giving me a heart attack at every turn that we are going to re-injure his poor elbow. You would never even know it had happened!
Bad mommy moments happen. The guilt I had for the entire day yesterday was overwhelming and I was almost embarrassed to tell people what had happened. It wasn't even like I had done it "to" him, yanking his arm, punishing him or being a mean mom, but the shame was still there. I guess we take the good with the bad and hope our kids turn out alright in the end. I am still sad for what happened but I am sure it will make for a good story someday ....
that is so scary! I am glad he is ok. Poor Jack and poor you!
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